Meet the DIY group for men fixing loneliness and loss
âI donât know where Iâd be if I hadnât come to The Shed,â 72-year-old Bob Emblin reflects. âThis place has been great.â
âThe Shedâ Bob is referring to is the Wharfedale Menâs Shed group â a place where blokes from this relatively affluent corner of north-west Leeds can come together once a week for some DIY, a coffee and a chinwag.
It is just one of a network of more than 1,100 Menâs Shed groups which have sprung up all over the UK since the first one was created in 2013.
The impact it is having on the gentlemen who attend the group, which meets in the town of Otley every Monday, is self-evident.
Retired BT engineer Bob was widowed during the Covid pandemic, which prompted him to start coming to the Wharfedale group.
âIt was loneliness and the need for me to make a fresh start really,â Bob explains from a small makeshift coffee room.
âYou feel youâve got a reason or a motivation to do things.â
Bob chats against the buzzing backdrop of whirring industrial tools and woodwork machines in the next room â a laser cutter, bandsaw, lathe and a 3D printer among them.
It is in there that the groupâs 20 or so members can crack on with a project of some description, some of them requested by a local charity, the town council or a wildlife group.
Alternatively, it might just be a personal DIY job they want assistance with, or just some company while they potter and chisel away.
Hedgehog boxes have become something of a speciality for Neil OâBrien, who has been coming here since 2019.
âEvery one of these that I make sells very quickly,â Neil chuckles. âTheyâre not expensive.
âNo sooner have I made one, it disappears!â
Neilâs knowledge and experience mean he is in high demand when it comes to the others needing help with their own schemes. He jokes he is âinvariablyâ rushed off his feet.
âMy background is practical work,â he explains. âIâm more in the metal work side of things, but Iâve always done both metal and wood.
âItâs nice to be able to pass the knowledge on.â
One of those hoping to profit from Neilâs expertise is 32-year-old supply teacher Adam Tasker, who is proof that age is no barrier to membership here.
âNeil is going to teach me some stuff today,â Adam, who only started coming to Menâs Shed two weeks ago, enthuses.
âTheyâre really nice people.â
Thatâs a view echoed by Robert Burnett, one of Bobâs pals back in the coffee room. âWe all help each other,â the 63-year-old, who started coming here when he moved to Otley from nearby Burley-in-Wharfedale two years ago, says.
Robert jokes that the distinctive blue jumpers and polo shirts, personalised with membersâ names, give them a âprimary schoolâ look, but they also carry an identity and a sense of belonging.
Anyone who signs up has to adhere to a code of conduct, which bars talk of politics and religion in the interests of maintaining harmony.
âWe all have different outlooks and different views of the world but we leave it at the door,â Robert explains. âThereâs the underlying message weâre all here to support each other and treat each other with respect.â
Robert says the group recently helped rebuild a local residentâs garden fence after wood from it was stolen.
âThat gives us a bit of a buzz, because weâre actively working in the community and using our skills in a productive way,â he says.
While being a handyman might be a desirable trait, it is not compulsory.
According to Bob Miles, group secretary and one of its founder members, a âkey partâ of Wharfedale Menâs Shed is friendship and camaraderie.
âWe make the point with any new member that you donât have to use your hands,â Bob says. âItâs important you make friends. You can sit and chat, have a biscuit and a coffee.
âOne of the worst things about retiring is youâve spent lots of time with people around you (at work) and then all of a sudden youâre on your own.â
Bob believes that men âarenât as goodâ as women at making new contacts.
âI wish men would be a little more forthcoming in that respect,â he adds. âBut you get two guys working around a bench, cutting a bit of wood or whatever, and they start talking about all kinds of things.
âItâs almost a catalyst that helps them break out of that reserved mode.â
Expansion plans
But the group has become a victim of its own success. It has outgrown its current base, which is rather cramped and struggles to accommodate its members on the one day a week it has access to premises at the Otley Courthouse arts centre.
With this in mind, the news that it has managed to obtain planning permission to demolish a nearby derelict café and build its own facility on the land is particularly welcome.
Not only will this help it cope with growing demand, but they will be able to use the space more than one day a week and rent it out to other organisations too.
âOur intention is not to turn anyone away at all,â chairman Stuart Gregory, 77, says.
âWe never say to anyone, âIâm sorry weâre fullâ. So far, touch wood, we seem to have coped with the membership.
âHopefully when we get our new accommodation that problem will go away completely.â
Given the difference this group is making to individual members and the wider community, itâs a move they are desperate to make.
With additional reporting from Don Mort, Local Democracy Reporting Service
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