Going solo after leaving one of the UKâs biggest podcasts
Just over a year ago, Milena Sanchez suddenly left one of the UKâs most successful podcasts in a split that seemed to shock everyone â even her co-hosts.
For seven years, sheâd built The Receipts alongside Audrey Indome and Tolani Shoneye, collecting more than 100,000 weekly listeners on the way.
Speaking to BBC Newsbeat, Milena says quitting was a difficult decision but her mental health had deteriorated to a point where she couldnât carry on.
âIt wasnât one I took lightly â even though it might have seemed like that,â says Milena, 33.
Audrey and Tolani said in January they were blindsided by Milenaâs decision to leave but Milena claimed it came after a rift that had lasted for years.
There were also rumours â denied by the podcasters â that Milena was bullied and squeezed out of the group.
âUltimately, I had to be true to who I was and remove myself from that space,â Milena tells Newsbeat.
The Receipts, which started in 2016 and signed a lucrative exclusive deal with Spotify in 2019, has about 100,000 weekly listeners on Spotify.
âFinancially, I couldâve shut my mouth and stayed and collected the bag,â says Milena.
âBut for me, itâs not about that. It meant more to me â my mental health, my integrity and who I am as a person, and to not sell something that wasnât true.
âItâs not easy, and especially when I do have a daughter that depends on me.â
Milena says her daughter, who was just one year old when The Receipts started and is now almost 10, helped her find the courage to quit.
âI really had to sit down with myself and ask, if my daughter came to me with the same predicament, what would be my response to her?â Milena says.
âMy response wouldnât be to stay somewhere just because of money. It would just be, âchoose yourselfâ.
âYou only live once and I know it sounds so clichĂ©d, but you canât be stuck in a space where you just donât feel happy.â
Milena says her year since quitting The Receipts has been a âwhirlwindâ.
She says she left London to live in the countryside and pursue music and writing, but realised she was missing podcasting.
âThereâs been a lot of reflecting, a lot of self-analysing,â says Milena.
âUltimately I had to say to myself: I love speaking, my voice is very needed.â
âA one-man bandâ
Milena says she had to overcome a lot of self-doubt before launching her own solo podcast.
âI was scared to put this podcast out.
âI felt like Iâm just going to be in my home talking. It doesnât feel big enough, it doesnât feel glitzy enough.
âBut it doesnât matter where itâs coming from,â Milena says she told herself.
âYou started from from the ground before, so letâs go again.â
Since she launched solo project Milenaâs Diary at the end of September, she says sheâs been âoverwhelmedâ by the response.
âIt reminded me, âthis is why you are here. This is your purposeâ.â
But âit was very difficult to start again from the ground up,â she says â and definitely a change of pace from The Receipts.
There, âI had a team,â she says.
âWe had production, we had social media people, somebody that edited the podcasts.
âAll I had to do was turn up and talk and thatâs it.
âNow doing this solo, Iâm doing everything myself. Iâm a one-man band.â
Previously, she was one of three presenters bouncing off each other and not having that has been a âhardâ transition.
âI really do enjoy being on episodes with other people because you do bounce back, thereâs other stories that are triggered in your mind and itâs nice,â she says.
âBut I feel like having that time alone to self-reflect and to just talk is also very important.â
Milena says she uses her podcast âas therapyâ and she feels more authentically herself than ever.
Sheâs also spent the past year releasing music leaning into her Colombian heritage and queer identity.
âMy culture is so ingrained in me, even though I was born in London,â she says.
âAnd Iâm a queer woman so Iâm going to talk on that openly and very proudly.â
Looking back on the past year, âI feel so much happier,â Milena says.
âI am in a space where I have done so much work on myself, so much self-reflection and taking accountability for things I donât think that I wouldâve a couple of years back.
âIâm just so grateful to myself for making the decisions I have made.â
And despite the public statements earlier this year, Milena says she only wants the best for her former co-hosts Tolani and Audrey, who continued The Receipts as a duo.
âI always wish the girls the absolute best,â she says.
âAnd theyâre doing really well.â