Warning: This story contains descriptions of suicide and acts of violence

Holding his chin in his hand and staring into the distance, a probation officer tells me how he planned to end his life.

“I started to prepare how I was going to do it,” he says. “I needed to get out of this work situation – I’d been doing the job for so long and it had got even busier and chaotic. I just couldn’t cope and I needed an exit.”

His face is expressionless and his voice is solemn.

Thinking about his family stopped him from going ahead – but he says panic attacks have become a regular occurrence because of his increasing workload.

“It happens three or four times a week,” he tells me. “Waves of nausea, heart racing, profuse sweating, and I wake up in the night thinking: ‘Have I missed something at work that could lead to someone getting hurt?’

“This is no way to live.”

This isn’t an isolated case – the National Association of Probation Officers (NAPO), which represents thousands of probation officers in England and Wales, says its members are “burning out due to the relentlessly high workloads”.

Probation officers supervise offenders after prison sentences and check they follow other terms of their release, such as sticking to curfews and not taking drugs. They also help former prisoners with housing, employment and access to benefits, and protect the public by assessing the risk of further offending.

In its 2022/2023 annual report, the probation watchdog assessed most of the probation service was working beyond its capacity.

The probation caseload – that’s the number of former offenders staff are attending to – was 238,646 at the end of June 2024. That figure is slightly higher than in 2023, when it was 238,264. Probation officers may have multiple appointments with each person.

Since the HM Inspectorate of Probation report was published and those caseload figures were captured, probation officers’ workloads have increased significantly – because the government released more than 2,000 offenders early from prisons in England and Wales to deal with overcrowding.

The justice secretary said this had prevented the penal system from reaching maximum capacity, and “a total breakdown of law and order”.

“We used to have around eight appointments a day – some with people of high risk,” the probation officer explains, “but that’s gone up to 12 appointments – colleagues are crying at their desks as it’s too much.”

Appointments can involve a probation officer and offender discussing the rules of the probation, the dates and times of future appointments, and job and training opportunities. Some offenders are serious criminals who require close and regular monitoring, and if probation officers are overworked they might miss opportunities to prevent them reoffending.

The murder of Zara Aleena in east London in 2022 was partly blamed on mistakes made by probation staff. Her killer, Jordan McSweeney, attacked Ms Aleena nine days after his release on license from prison. The unit responsible for supervising him had staffing levels of just 61%.

The probation officer tells me about a former prisoner who should have been visited by a probation officer but wasn’t – and then went on to stab someone.

“That’s what we’re dealing with,” he says. “It’s not our fault, we can’t do it all.

“And then we have to live with feelings of guilt.”

The government said it would recruit 1,000 new officers by March 2025 to help with the additional duties, but critics argue it takes at least a year to train a probation officer. Staff say it will take time before additional staff make any difference.

“It’s not like we’re going to have these extra staff now up and running which is what we want,” another probation officer, who’s been working in the sector for several years, says.

“There’s not a day that passes where I don’t think about quitting. We’re facing excessive workloads and poor pay – all of which have led to entrenched problems of staff retention and sickness rates in crucial roles.”

Sickness levels among probation officers have gone up nationally. In the year to September 2024, HMPSS staff each lost an average of 11.4 working days to sickness absence – an increase from 11.2 average working days lost for the year ending 31 March 2024.

Senior probation staff claim at least 75% of that sickness is down to stress.

The service is also facing a significant shortfall in staff. Last year’s annual report from HM Inspectorate of Probation cited “chronic under-staffing” and the “knock-on impact on workloads” as key issues of concern.

There are 20,652 full-time probation staff in England and Wales – an increase of 103 on the previous year.

His Majesty’s Prison and Probation Service (HMPPS) says 790 probation officers left the service in England and Wales over the last year (to the end of Sept 2024). This is a slight decrease (0.8%) compared to the previous year.

“My mental health is a mess. I’m getting upset stomachs and feeling drained all the time. It’s my job and its affecting my health,” the second probation officers says. “I get why people are leaving – I would if I didn’t have a mortgage and bills.”

Recent inspectorate reports into probation services in various parts of the country also make for grim reading – with many identifying staffing to be an issue.

In November, the Bradford and Calderdale Probation Delivery Unit in West Yorkshire was assessed by the Inspectorate to be “inadequate”, and at risk of not protecting the public from harm because of “large gaps in staffing”.

Martin Jones, chief inspector of probation, says he’s deeply concerned warning signs could be missed because of the excessive workload.

“The more pressure probation officers are under, they may miss things going wrong, so – of course – I’m acutely worried about that.

“What you’re seeing is a service under huge pressure. My assessment is the probation service has too few staff, with too little experience, managing too many cases. Is that really sustainable for the long term?”

A Ministry of Justice spokesperson told the BBC the new government inherited a prison system in “crisis”, and it had been “forced into taking difficult but necessary action so it can keep locking up dangerous criminals and protect the public”.

“This included replacing the last Government’s early release scheme with one that gives probation staff more time to prepare for a prisoner’s release and with new protections in relation to domestic abuse offences.”